Repairing my broken mermaid tail--and my confidence

Have you ever lost your confidence and your inspiration all at once? I have. But a mermaid helped me find my way again.

I draw strength and inspiration from being near the water, so it's only natural that I'd be inspired by mermaids. Some people insist mermaids are mythical creatures, but I've met mermaids and have photographic evidence to prove it. 

When my cousin, Donette and I brought the Whidbey Island Mermaid an offering of our leftover pizza, she kissed my forehead (the mermaid, not my cousin). 

The Whidbey Island Mermaid kissing my forehead

Once I met the Whidbey Island Sirens Pod, who invited me to sit a spell with them. They even entrusted me to hold their treasure chest brimming with jewels. 

Me hanging out with mermaids

My admiration of mermaids began 14 years ago when I was starting over after my divorce. A friend gifted me a confidant, cheeky mermaid that hangs from a beaded wire. Written on her fin is this favorite Oscar Wilde quote:

Be yourself.

Everyone else is already taken.

 

My cheeky mermaid 

In those early days of standing on my own again, I needed those words. Often. 

In my first apartment post-divorce, I hung the mermaid in a prominent place as a reminder to be my authentic self. Over the years, the mermaid and I moved many times: from that first tiny apartment to the World War II era duplex to Wisteria Cottage (with no running water, heat or bathroom!) to a lovely mother-in-law suite in the home of friends, to a fifth-wheel RV on a ranch in wild Eastern Oregon and back to my friends' suite.

Somewhere along the way, the mermaid's tail fell off. And then the beaded wire hanger fell off, too. I tucked her safely into a zippered bag and planned to repair her--one day. Instead, I forgot about my confidant, cheeky mermaid. 

Sometimes in the darkest moments, without the cheeky mermaid to cheer me on, I lost my confidence. I forgot how to be my authentic self.

Recently, I moved again when I bought my own home. As I unpacked box after box, I found my treasured mermaid. She was broken. Disheveled. Her confidence and cheekiness had waned considerably. I vowed I would reattach her tail and her hanger so that she can again be her confident, cheeky self. 

First, I tried reattaching her tail with jeweler's wire, but it fell off. I reattached it again. Same result. And again. The third time was not the charm. Sometimes when I have a vision of creating something or fixing something, it doesn't go as smoothly as I had envisioned. Can you relate?

So I moved on to Plan B: Use a rubber band AND jeweler's wire to reattach her tail. I grabbed my little jar of doo-dads. (Do you have one of these, too?) Inside the jar I save plastic closures for bread bags and wire twistees. Around the outside of the jar I wrap rubber bands I salvage. I found the perfect rubber band.

My jar of doo-dads

It worked! Within a few minutes, I had repaired the mermaid and hung her in my bathroom window. 

From now on, every morning as I am getting ready for the day, my cheeky mermaid will encourage me to be my authentic self. And her confidence and cheekiness is sure to inspire me to dig deep and find my own.

With my mermaid encouraging me every morning to "be myself," how can I fail?

My cheeky, encouraging mermaid hanging in my bathroom window

When Good Things Fall Apart so Better Things Can Fall Together

I'm sitting in my favorite neighborhood coffee shop, La Bella Cafe in Uptown Village, where the barista greets me by name and knows my drink of choice: skinny Big Train Chai. It's a lazy Saturday afternoon and I've come here to relax and write. It's special time I anticipate each week.

However, today the regular barista who knows me by name is not working and the shop has run out of my favorite chai. I am not a coffee drinker, which is a rarity here in the rainy Pacific Northwest, home of Starbucks and Seattle's Best. So I ordered a nonfat Mexican hot chocolate instead. And I was pleasantly surprised at how spicy and delicious it was.

On the oversized chalkboard near where I sit, someone has written this apropos quote:

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

It's certainly true in my life, even down to the most minute circumstances. If the coffee shop hadn't run out of my favorite chai, I wouldn't have tasted the delicious Mexican hot chocolate. I would have missed that experience of trying something new. And I am all about trying new experiences.

If I were to step back and look at the bigger picture, this quote is very appropriate for many areas of my life. I'll bet it is for yours too.

Good thing that fell apart: Being laid off from a job that I had poured my heart and soul into for four-and-a-half years.

Resulting good thing that fell together: Starting a new job at the Columbian newspaper that uses my writing skills, but that only requires 40 hours a week. It's so refreshing to be able to leave work and know that I did my job and now have the evening or even an entire weekend for my own pursuits. How refreshing!

Good thing that fell apart: When I lost my job, I had to sell my charming 90-year-old house before it became a short sale.

Resulting good thing that fell together: Becoming a renter for the first time in a long time freed up my time, money and energy that I was expending to maintain a large, vintage house and a yard.

Good thing that fell apart: When I sold my house, I had to downsize very quickly from a three-story house to a one-bedroom apartment.

Resulting good thing that fell together: Before I moved, I had to examine countless boxes of stuff that we had hidden away in the attic--and I got rid of about half of what I owned. That was extremely freeing.

Good thing that fell apart: When I had to downsize and move quickly, even though I was under tremendous stress, I was too busy to stress eat and I was moving my body double time to clear out the house.

Resulting good thing that fell together: My health! As I was going through boxes, I found my workbook about mindful eating and I started examining at my relationship with food with new eyes. Without even trying, I lost 10 pounds in December. That was such an encouragement to me that I joined our community gym and started working out regularly. I have lost a total of 22 pounds and several inches so far. I'm more than a third of the way to my goal in just three months!

I even joined a dragon boat team, the Mighty Women, and I'm anticipating my first dragon boat race this spring. With all the paddling and other exercising, I am changing my body to a much stronger, healthier and smaller body. That's definitely a better thing!

Many good things fell apart in the last two years of my life, but they have been replaced by better things. I'm happier than I have been in a long time. I am living. I am having adventures. I am paddling my own canoe--and having the time of my life.

The next time something good falls apart in your own life, don't despair. Be on the lookout for a better thing to fall together.